hhanon | Round 3 - Return of the Meme

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Round 3 - Return of the Meme

Round 3 - Return of the Meme

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That's nearly the end of the storia, for onto the scene comes our much loved meme: HAIL TO THE QUEEN OF PROMPTIA.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

“oh god I’m so tired” yawned Larry “just 5 more minutes” and he put his head down on the table.

“no” Simon tugged at him “they need you in make up man” but Larry had gone to sleep, “Larry” Simon shook his shoulder “LARRY wake up”

“Please just leave me alone, tell them I’m dead or something” Larry whimpered. Honestly he was exhausted! He loved Brighton but the commute to London every day was killing him.

“I’ll get Jim” said Simon hurrying off, Jim would make it better

“Come on Larry” Jim pulled him up as Larry flopped against him “come on, give us a hug”. Mumbling Larry draped his arms around Jim and hugged him as Jim’s arms came round him and hugged him back.

Almost instantly Larry could fell the tiredness leaving his body, his head stopped feeling like it was stuffed with cotton wool and his eyes lost their gritty dryness and brightened up.

“Thanks Jim” he said

“No problem” said Jim leaning back and closing his eyes. Larry left him to rest for a few minutes. They all knew that the magic hugs took it out of him which was why they used them sparingly.

To say they were gobsmacked to discover that one of their fellow cast members could give people magic hugs was an understatement. Apparently it had something to do with Jim’s grandmother being the 7th child of a 7th child or something. Usually the magic hugs passed down the female branch of the family but for some reason it had missed out Jim’s mother and Jim had inherited the ability instead.

Jim had wondered if it was something to do with the fact that he did look born to hug people with his sweet face, blue eyes and cuddly frame. One previous girlfriend had likened him to a human teddy bear, a Jimmybear she’d giggled, all soft and warm and huggable.

“Magic hugs?” Mat had giggled “are you sure you don’t mean magic mushrooms or something?”

Jim had sighed “no I mean magic hugs”

“but what do you mean magic?” asked Ben ever practical “in what way are they magic?”

“Well they make people, I don’t know, feel better. It takes away the bad feelings and thoughts and magnifies people’s best qualities so people feel happy and good about themselves, ” said Jim “I don’t really understand how it works myself, it just does”

“Does it make other things go away other than thoughts or feelings?” asked Larry

“No I can’t cure illnesses or anything” said Jim sadly. He’d learnt that at an early age when his beloved Grandmother was dying of cancer. He’d refused to accept at the age of 10 that his magic hugs didn’t work and had spent hours every day hugging her to make her better. It hadn’t worked of course and he’d been devastated.

“hmm that’s probably a good thing” said Martha “imagine if you could do that? you’d be locked away in some research facility or deified as a god or something”

“Our Jim who art in acting, cuddly be thy name – it could work” said Larry grinning

“So does this mean hugging you is out then?” asked Simon

“No you can but you have to remember that every time I hug someone, I take their bad feelings and thoughts into me and they take my good thoughts and feeling, so basically it makes me weak and tired”

“Oh Jim” said Martha sadly “that sounds awful”

“it’s not, for some reason the bad thoughts don’t affect me, it’s like I kind of store them in a separate part of my brain and then when I go to sleep, I dream them away”

“Even so though” said Ben “theoretically, if someone hugged you and hugged you, you could pass out or something”

“Actually, theoretically, I could die” said Jim laughing except the laughter didn’t quite reach his eyes

The others all looked at him in silence with pity in their eyes

“hey hey lighten up guys” said Jim “Jimothy’s magic hugs are fine in small doses and available to those that need them. Just don’t overdo it and hug me for hours and it’ll be fine ok? Oh and obviously it’s a secret – and that means you Lazza”

Larry had looked hurt “I can keep secrets” he insisted, the others all looked at him with raised eyebrows “I CAN” he said

“now are we all clear? not too many hugs and no telling anyone” said Jim

“yep, we’re clear”

The cast soon found that Jimothy’s magic hugs were indeed wonderful things.

At the British Comedy Awards, Larry had been so nervous he’d been sick, Jim had given him a hug to calm him down. When their win was announced Larry had shot up on stage to deliver the now infamous “and if you’re not really really happy for us, that’s the same as punching a baby” speech.

Mat had been suffering a severe case of song writing block when a hug from Jim had yielded a massive burst of creativity which had led to him writing songs furiously for 5 days and then recording his own EP.

And it had been a special Jimothy hug that had put a stop to Ben’s flustered and inept attempts to ask Mat out and given him the confidence to just go up to him, slam him up against the wall, snog his face off and say “you’re coming home with me tonight”.

Though Jim had to admit, he had kind of thought Ben would wait till he and Mat were alone and not do it in the middle of the canteen but still.

Mind you there were times when they weren’t sure this had been such a good idea as instead of witnessing the bumbling and the stammering, they now had to witness the kissing, cuddling and general vomit inducing gooeyness. Generally though, the hugs worked their magic and everyone’s lives were better.

Until one day, when things started to go wrong.

Simon had forgotten his lines - again, they were on take 15 of the same sketch and everyone was becoming more than a little tetchy with him. When he buggered up the 15th take, Mat whispered at Jim to give him a cuddle

“honestly Jim if you don’t, we’ll be here till 9 o clock tonight still doing the same sketch”

“yeh ok” Jim went up to Simon and hugged him – but this time it felt wrong. Usually he could feel the tiredness or irritation or sadness or whatever flow into him but this time he couldn’t. Instead what flowed into him was a small amount of enthusiasm, determination and happiness. Jim frowned, that didn’t feel right at all!

Simon let go of him and yawned again.

“positions everyone” shouted the director “and action”

They all rushed forward waving their swords except Simon who stayed where he was blinking at people in confusion. This was weird he thought, what were all these people doing dressed as Romans, he looked down, why was he dressed as a Roman?? In fact who were these people anyway?

“Simon??” the director was shouting at him “Simon what the hell are you doing?? You’re not even doing the actions now”

Simon looked at him puzzled “what are we doing man??”

The director looked at him “are you taking the piss?”

“no seriously” said Simon, “what are we doing? Why am I wearing a sheet? Who are you people?”

“erm I think we need to take 5” said the director

The others rushed over to Simon

“what are you doing?” hissed Mat crossly

Yes” said larry “it’s not funny mate, we’ve done this over and over, what are you playing at?”

Simon looked at them in confusion “do I know you?”

They looked at each other “er yeh” said Ben “we’re the people you’ve been with practically 24 hours a day for the past 2 months, you know the same ones you’ve been acting with for 3 years”

Simon looked at them blankly “no” he shook his head “sorry”

Ben rubbed his nose “I don’t know what’s going on but he’s clearly not right”

“maybe Jim should hug him again?” said Mat

“well I wouldn’t normally, not so close after the last one” said Jim

“please Jim” said Larry “just so we can be sure he’s not completely whakkus bonkus”

“ok” Jim closed his eyes and hugged Simon again, ah this felt better. He felt confusion, tiredness and puzzlement flow into him and determination and enthusiasm flow back the other way. He let go staggering slightly and Larry put his arm out to hold him up

Simon shook his head again and stared at them “what’s going on man” he asked “why aren’t we shooting?”

“just taking a 5 minute break” said Mat “and then we’re starting again”

This time the shoot went by without any problems and the sketch was wrapped

Jim wondered whether he should say anything about the first hug, after all it had felt all wrong and Simon had gone really weird after it but then the second one was fine. It was probably just an aberration
he told himself, after all you never knew with magic. Probably wouldn’t happen again

would it??

Hey this is great, I'm really loving this and can't wait for more.

Oh awesome, another great comedy fic from the resident fic-writing machine. I'd love to see where this one's going. :)

*grabby hands* MORE

Oh this is brilliant. I want moar!
I've always wanted to cuddle Jim endlessly!

It wasn’t that Jim took his magic hugs for granted, it was just they had always been there so he could no more imagine himself without them than he could imagine being without ears or legs. As he had grown up, he’d come to understand that other people didn’t have this ability but his parents had always been keen to downplay it, saying that some people couldn’t sing or dance or draw, and some people couldn’t do magic hugs.

Looking back on it he supposed he was quite glad he was male and therefore not expected to go around hugging people the way that girls did. The only permissible hugging times for men really were sport or being drunk, which meant that Jim was always on the school football team as the team found that when Jim was around for the pre match hug they always won.

It goes without saying that Jim had tried to hug himself to see if the magic worked that way but sadly it didn’t. Hugging himself produced no feelings at all other than a strange buzzing in his ears as he presumed his brain flailed about trying to stop his feelings looping back on themselves.

He would also not have been human if he hadn’t occasionally used the hugs to get himself out of trouble like the time he was caught far dodging (it was only 1 tube stop but still) or when he really wanted to get into a club and the bouncer was saying no. Of course his parents had always said he must never use the hugs to get himself out of trouble but it was, he told himself, a very small form of rebellion.

Being without the hugs or worse the hugs just not working properly was not something he wanted to think about!

Fortunately no-one needed a Jimothy hug for a few days and Jim was able to convince himself that nothing had happened really, it was just Simon playing up. Shooting went on and despite the occasional hissy fit, “WHO’s idea was it to shoot under Heathrow’s flight path?” stormed Mat the tenth time a plane disrupted his Roman sketch, everyone was fine and people were generally calm and chilled out.

Until the next Monday when Ben came in with a massive hangover. They knew it wasn’t good because for once Mat was driving and Ben was wearing sunglasses – even though it was raining.

“oooh someone’s overdone it” chortled Larry, “boys night out was it?”

Ben mumbled something incoherent and clutched at the coffee Mat handed him

“he got totally rat arsed” said Mat “even though I told him not too. Started drinking about lunchtime and rolled in about 10 o clock”. He didn’t add that Ben had been so drunk he’d been unable to get his key in the door and Mat had been woken by the sound of what sounded like the door splitting in two as Ben tapped lightly for admittance.

Larry laughed and clapped Ben on the back “nice one, on the vodka were we?” Ben groaned and hugged his coffee.

“oh dear” said Martha coming in with Jim “someone doesn’t look good! Jesus Ben I can smell the alcohol from here”

“I think someone needs a hug” grinned Simon “before they fall over or we all get drunk on the alcohol fumes”

Jim laughed “yes I think so too, come here Ben” and he put his arms around and hugged him, his face level with Ben’s chest. Ben staggered slightly and slumped over Jim. He sighed, hugging Jim was just so comfy, like squishing into a big cushion.

Oh no, thought Jim, no, this isn’t right again. He could feel Ben’s hangover tiredness flow into him which was normal but he could feel other things flowing into him like modesty, good humour, calmness, and affability – all the good things about Ben. Jim let go abruptly.

“Thanks” said Ben smiling “that’s cured the hangover” and he went off to make up.

“Here” said Mat “sit down, have a biscuit”, they were used to the weakening effect of the hugs and left Jim alone.

This was not right thought Jim to himself. Although he’d said to the others that he stored the feelings in a separate part of his brain and dreamed them out; it was not as straightforward as that. His grandmother had taught him how to do it so that the feelings didn’t leak into his own personality and change it. The dreams were, well nightmares mostly of others people’s bad thoughts and emotions.

However, taking in positive feelings was an entirely different matter. He actually felt really good and as if he could do anything in the world! He wasn’t sure he wanted to compartmentalise these good feelings away the way he did the bad ones. He’d quite like to hang on to them.

Ben on the other hand....

“For god sake how long is this going to take?” he snapped at the makeup artist “I’ve been sat here for ages”

The woman quailed under his gaze “sorry” she muttered “cavemen take longer than most”

“Well get on with it” he said, “oh and get me another coffee, quickly”. She nodded and scurried off, this was so unlike Ben. Usually, he was charm personified with all the makeup girls, doing his best middle class stuttering, blinking Hugh Grant impression and blushing when they teased him about Mat. It was very strange.

He didn’t get any better during the day

“bloody hell Larry, stop arsing about and get on with the sodding sketch, you’re nowhere near as funny as you think”

Larry gaped at him “er what??”

“you heard! Get on with it and stop pratting about”

“Ben!” said Mat “you are way out of line, leave Larry alone”

Ben rolled his eyes at him and sighed heavily “might have known you’d stick up for him”

“what? what’s that supposed to mean?” said Mat frowning

“er people? I think we should get on with shooting” said the director nervously

When they had a couple of hours to kill whilst Martha, Larry and Simon were off filming, Ben insisted on playing cards

Usually their games of poker were fun affairs played for Minstrels or Haribo but Ben made them play for money becoming increasingly competitive.

“Full house! that beats your flush Ben” laughed Mat

“No it doesn’t” said Ben belligerently

“er it does” said Mat

“it doesn’t” insisted Ben

“Ben” said Jim “it DOES, if you had a straight flush it would but you don’t”

Ben looked at him in surprise “oooh the shortarse speaks”,

“I may be a short arse but at least I’m not behaving like a massive arse unlike someone else today" Jim glared at him “you should just keep your mouth shut”

“oh really?” Ben stood up

“yes really” Jim stood up as well wondering what he was doing. He never got involved in arguments like this. He was a born conciliator and the others joked he could get a job at the UN if the acting didn’t work out. Confrontation wasn’t his thing normally, but god it felt good to get, well, assertive like this and stand up for himself and not be intimidated.

“look it’s just a game” said Mat “no need to get so worked up”

Ben slammed his cards down “this is a stupid bloody game” he said and stropped off.

“what the hell is wrong with him today?” said Mat “I think your magic hugs are wearing off”

Jim smiled weakly at him, the hugs, he felt, were the problem! “ah you know how competitive he is, he’d challenge himself to a game if there was no-one else about. It’s just because he lost”

Eventually the long day was at an end which was handy because Ben had upset pretty much everyone on set with his sneering sarcasm and bouts of rage including one rather spectacular scenery smashing incident when Larry had suggested amendments to a scene he’d written

“change it?” he’d yelled “change it?? it’s fucking perfect as it is, perfect!”

“well I don’t know” said Mat “Larry’s suggestion might be funnier”

“rubbish! It’s hilarious and you’re all too stupid to see it. I was at fucking Oxford you know! I’ve got a Perrier award, don’t you tell me about funny” and he’d punched a hole in the backdrop, kicked over 2 chairs and stormed off.

Mat sat in silence in the car, his arms folded. He couldn’t believe how Ben had behaved today. Rude, aggressive, impatient – it was so unlike him.

Ben was driving (much too fast Mat felt), racing people away from traffic lights and sounding off about the day’s shoot and how useless everyone was “I mean, Larry can’t act to save his life, should stick to writing, not that he’s much better at that and really Simon’s got to be on some kind of job creation scheme, bloody space cadet that he is. Oh and Martha, well I suppose we need a bird to do the girl stuff and as for Jim” Ben rolled his eyes expressively

“shut up” snapped Mat “just shut up!”

“you going to make me?” said Ben

“I mean it Ben...”

And arguing they drove home

Once at home Mat made dinner in silence trying to block out Ben’s ranting about the day. Hopefully, after a good night’s sleep he’d be better. In the meantime as Ben seemed engrossed in some documentary about James Bond, Mat decided he would have an early night

“Ben” he said “I’m going to bed”

Ben raised his eyebrow at him “early night” he smirked “what a good idea”

Mat knew that look “no Ben” he said firmly “not tonight” and he turned and went upstairs. Ben followed him upstairs and into the bedroom

Mat swung round to face him “I mean it Ben” he said “you’ve been an utter git all day and I’m not sleeping with you”

“oh I don’t think any sleeping will get done” said Ben reaching for him but Mat dodged out the way

“pack it in” he said “I said no alright”

Ben’s face darkened “it’s Larry isn’t it?” he said

“what?” said Mat “Larry? What’s larry”

“you don’t want to sleep with me because you fancy larry”

Mat stared at him open mouthed “don’t be bloody daft, of course I don’t”

“you do, I’ve seen you looking at him” Ben crossed the room towards him “don’t deny it, I’ve SEEN you”

“Ben, stop it” said Mat “this isn’t funny”

“no its not” said Ben and lunged at him, grabbing him and throwing him down on the bed, trying to kiss him as Mat struggled and protested

“Ben I said no, fucking get off me, I mean it! get the fuck off”

Ben took no notice but tried to pin Mat’s wrists in one hand “teach you to flirt with larry” he panted

“Ben, stop it” but Ben took no notice, burying his face in Mat’s neck as he fought and wriggled.

Suddenly, “crack” Mat had managed to grab the bedside lamp and hit Ben with it. Ben stopped momentarily dazed and Mat leapt off the bed and ran to the spare room, locking the door and heaving a chair against the handle.

Outside Ben banged on the door “Mat let me in”

“no way” shouted Mat “I’m not coming out till you’ve calmed down”

“I am bloody calm” shouted Ben hammering on the door

“you’re not and I’m staying in here”

Ben kicked and hit the door but it was no use. The door remained immovable and Mat stayed firmly behind it.

“go to bed” he yelled “you’re behaving like a lunatic”

Eventually there was silence and Mat feel into an uneasy sleep.

In the morning, Mat crept cautiously into the bedroom. Ben was sitting up in bed, holding the side of his face and looking at him in confusion.

"Mat" he said softly "why did you sleep in the spare room? did we have a fight?"

Mat edged closer, this seemed to be normal Ben (as oppsoed to psycho Ben from yesterday) but he wanted to be sure

"yeh we did, sort of, you were a bit strange yesterday"

"was I?" Ben frowned and then winced "I don't really remember yesterday"

Mat sat on the bed "have you looked in the mirror?"

"no"

"you should"

“jesus, what happened to my face?” Ben looked in the mirror at the bruise staining the side of his face

“I hit you with a lamp” said Mat

Ben turned “YOU hit me??”

“yes”

“but why??”

“don't you remember anything?”

“not really, I mean I know I was at the studios and everything but other than that not a lot”

“right – you need to listen to this then...”

As Mat told him what had happened, Ben variously cringed, groaned and eventually hid his face in his hands

“oh god, oh god” he moaned “how could I have done and said those things? Everyone’s going to hate me”, he looked at Mat “and you had to hit me, I’m so so sorry”

“you also accused me of fancying Larry”

“Christ, what the hell came over me?” really, he couldn’t believe he’d done what Mat said he had.

“I don’t know, you were fine, well not fine as you were massively hung over but you were you – until Jim hugged you...” Mat frowned, Simon had gone weird after Jim had hugged him as well

“Ben” he said “you don’t think that maybe it had something to do with Jim hugging you do you?”

“but Jim’s hugs are meant to make you feel better, not go mental”

“yes but don’t they kind of take away your bad qualities and magnify your good ones”

“well that’s the theory, oh” light dawned in Ben’s eyes “do you think there’s some kind of problem and its taking away the good stuff and magnifying the bad qualities?”

“well think about it. Yesterday you were arrogant, rude, impatient, sarcastic” Ben cringed again “and although you are like that sometimes, it’s only in very small doses. Normally you are charming, polite, confident, assertive, and laid back – and that stops you behaving like you did yesterday. I think the hug took the good things away and left the bad bits”

“shit, we need to talk to the others – oh and make sure Jim doesn’t hug anyone until we’ve figured out what’s going on”

“I agree”

“right, let’s go – oh but we need to stop off at Waitrose along the way, I’ve got a lot of apologising to do”

They got to the studios, Ben laden with flowers, chocolates and various bottles of wine

“now it’s really important that Jim doesn’t.....oh fuck”, Jim was hugging Larry.

Your plots are always so good. I love this one so much. <3333

This story is amazing. I love it.

This is so good, loving it so much.

Poor Jim, things aren't going very well for him. Whats causing his problems?
Can't wait to find out.

Awesome, fun plot so far and I can't wait to find out what Larry does under the influence. :D

Though (this isn't a complaint, just some advice) next time, it might be a good idea to put a trigger warning for attempted rape.

loving this. bad!ben made me feel a bit squirmy though :(

Just wanted to say thanks for all the lovely comments and feedback :o)

soz if anyone was a bit freaked out by Bad Ben - I suppose because in my head I knew he wasn't going to do anything really awful, I didn't feel a need for warnings. I will bear in mind for future.

I am really looking forward to writing the Larry bit - just hope I can do him justice!!

And I am really looking forward to reading it. Thank you so much so far!!

I love this story! Can't wait to read more of it!

A/N I have been wrestling with this part for a while, worrying that it wasn't realistic, and then I realised I am in fact writing a story about story about someone who can do Magic Hugs.....

Deep down Jim knew he really shouldn’t be hugging anyone, not until he was sure that the hugs weren’t doing any harm. He’d just about been able to convince himself that Simon’s was either a one off or just, well Simon, but Ben’s behaviour was much less easily explained away.

However when Larry had come in that morning clearly exhausted again, his insomnia clearly reaching epic levels even for him, and unable to even remember basic words like “left” and “gate”, Jim had thought well, what’s the worst that could happen? Now Jim knew something was up he could be on his guard and he would make sure he stuck to Larry like glue. He put his arms out and hugged Larry against him.

“thanks mate” said Larry “I really need this”

“it’s no problem” said Jim holding on tightly for a few moments and then stepping back, just in time to see Mat running across the room.

“DON’T” shouted Mat

“what??” said Jim trying to look innocent “what’s the matter?”

“the hugs” panted Ben appearing behind Mat, his progress hampered by bags of ‘oh god I’m sorry presents’, “they’ve gone wrong”.

“what do you mean, wrong?” said Jim though deep down he knew “and what have you done to your face?”

“they’re taking the good stuff away and leaving the bad or mad things rather than the other way round” Said Mat “that’s why Ben was behaving so outrageously yesterday”

“you sure it wasn’t just a really bad hangover?” said Jim hopefully “I mean you were a mess”

“no” said Ben firmly “you’ve all seen me hung over before but I’ve never screamed at people, hit things or tried to attack Mat”

“shit, what happened?” Jim looked at Mat

“oh it was ok, he tried to jump me in the bedroom so I hit him with the lamp, that’s where the bruise is from”

“Oh shit, sorry , I had no idea that would happen, are you both OK?” said Jim

“well we are now” said Ben “it could have been a lot worse”. He still couldn’t believe how he’d behaved towards Mat, definitely needed to treat him he thought

“more to the point” said Mat, “what about Larry? Larry, how do you feel?”
Larry beamed at him “fine mate”

“really?”

“yeh really! Absolutely fine – must just have been Ben it affected”

“you sure?”

“honestly, I’ve never felt better”

Larry wasn’t in the first lot of scenes that morning so while the others went off to make up and costume and in Ben’s case to apologise, Larry opened up his ipad. Time to tweet....

Jim had sworn to himself that he would stick to Larry like glue but that was difficult when he was needed for sketches and Larry wasn’t. Anyway Larry seemed fine, tapping away at his ipad and grinning manically to himself like always.

Once or twice Jim had wandered over between takes and Larry had chatted to him happily, seemingly his normal self. All did seem genuinely fine.

Pleased Jim decided that he would take a few photos, the fans loved the behind the scenes photos and tweets. Strange, he seemed to have a lot of missed calls, oh well he’d look at those in a minute. He snapped Mat as DI Bones and then opened up his twitter.

Hmmmmm, he did seem to have a lot of tweets today even for him, a lot LOT of tweets.....he began to scroll down

“@lazabotron,@ realjimhowick, hey Jim, is it true your hugs are magic?”

“@lazabotron,@ realjimhowick Jimothy magic hugs!!!””

“@lazabotron,@ realjimhowick OMG I always knew Jimmy hugs were special”

“@lazabotron,@ realjimhowick magic hugs!! Naaaawwwww”

Oh god no, this cannot be happening thought Jim as he scrolled down and down

“ @lazabotron,@realmatbaynton@benwillbond, @realjimhowick Mat and Ben!!! knew it was love!!”

“@lazabotron,@ realjim howick’@realmatbaynton@benwillbond baybond is realz”

“@lazabotron,@ realjimhowick magic hugs for everyone!!”

“@lazabotron,@ realjimhowick I wanna jimothy hug!”

And so on and so on...

Oh shit, Jim put his head in his hands, what was Larry thinking??? He’d clearly broadcast the whole magic hug thing on twitter along with Mat and Ben’s relationship which was also strictly private. What was he going to do? He needed to think.

Looking around, he saw that one of the dressing rooms was empty and he slipped inside, his mind reeling. Fuck, fuck he thought as the gravity of the situation dawned on him. Once people knew he could do magic hugs there would be no safe place, medical people would try and experiment on him to find out why, psychologists would try to ascertain if it was some kind of mass hysteria effect, people everywhere would want him just to make their lives better, charities would want him to go around the world hugging the starving poor. He felt himself begin to panic, his heart pounding as the consequences began to sink in.

And god knows what Ben would say when he saw the tweets about him and Mat. He liked to keep his private life private and Larry had just put it all over the internet.

“LARRY!!!!” Ben’s voice echoed round the room, and Jim peered round the door to see Ben striding towards Larry, looking well, not pleased to put it mildly closely followed by Mat looking equally as unhappy.

“Larry?” Ben loomed over him “what the fuck have you been doing?”

Larry looked up at him puzzled “nothing”

“what do you mean nothing?” said Mat brandishing his phone at him “LOOK at my tweets, how could you tell everyone about Jim’s hugs, and about Ben and I?”

Larry looked nonplused “but my followers, they need to know these things. I am their leader”

“what??” choked Ben “WHAT?? Their leader? What are you talking about?”

“they follow my every word, together we are strong and one day we will take over the world, and all shall be Larry”, there was silence while Jim waited for Larry to burst out laughing and tell them he was joking but his face remained perfectly serious.

For once Ben was lost for words and it was left to Mat to fill the silence
“but what about Jim? Think about what you’ve done! People will try to take him away and conduct experiments on him, or worse make him appear on a show with Noel Edmonds at Christmas where he hugs deserving poor people”

“in the new world where the Church of Lazbotron rules he will be revered alongside me as the High priest of Larry”

Ben and Mat stared at him wordlessly for a few seconds their mouths hanging open.

“right” said Ben “you’ve clearly gone totally and utterly mental, hopefully it’s just for 24 hours like me but in the meantime, we shall have to lock you up, and take your ipad before you do any more damage”. He grabbed Larry and wrestled his ipad off him

“unhand me! I am the divine Lazbotron and you shall suffer for this” Larry glared at Ben “my followers shall smite you down”

“we’re prepared to take the consequences” said Mat firmly grabbing his other arm and dragging him over to one of the dressing rooms and pushed him inside.

“my followers shall rise up against you unbelievers!” he shouted as Ben held him while Mat searched for his iphone to confiscate that as well.

“whatever! Now stay here and try and behave” said Ben closing the door and locking it behind him. They needed to find Jim and figure out what to do now the internet knew about the magic hugs.

Bastards! Larry paced the room, they were keeping him from his people! They needed to hear from him, thousands of people hung on his every word, how dare they confiscate his means of broadcasting his wisdom?

Well they wouldn’t stop him! He would go out amongst his people and commune with them in person, just as soon as he escaped from this room....

haha, Larry's reaction to the hug is the best xD Thank you for the laugh, I needed it today! I love this story!

Re: Fill Jimothy's Magic Hugs AU 6c/?

balinese-baby.livejournal.com - 2011-11-23 17:29 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill Jimothy's Magic Hugs AU 6c/?

(Anonymous) - 2011-11-23 17:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill Jimothy's Magic Hugs AU 6c/?

(Anonymous) - 2011-11-23 17:39 (UTC) - Expand

Oh, awesome idea. :D
Larry and his followers, walking arm in arm across the rooftops of the world (and if you get that reference, I'll be impressed).

Re: Fill Jimothy's Magic Hugs AU 6c/?

(Anonymous) - 2011-11-25 08:24 (UTC) - Expand

Oh my gosh! I LOVE IT!!!! Please write more :)

A/N thanks you all for your lovely comments, I'm so pleased people are enjoying this in all it's madness. I seriously don't know where my brain is sometimes. Without wanting to spoil anything, I need to acknowledge the use of the lovely Larry's tweets in this fic.

“Jim? JIM??” Mat and Ben shouted looking round the studios, “Jim where are you?”

a door opened a fraction behind them and Jim’s anxious face peered out

“Oh Jim, are you ok, have you seen tweets, what shall we do?” Mat and Ben rushed over talking across each other in their haste to get their words out.

“Get in here” hissed Jim nervously

“Oh right” they hustled inside and Jim pulled the door firmly shut.

“How are you” asked Mat kindly “I take it from your face, you know what Larry’s done?”

“Yes I do. God, I’m so sorry you guys. I know you like to keep your relationship private. I never dreamed Larry would tweet it all over the internet”

Ben sighed and ran his hands through his hair “well it’s not great but to be honest, we’re more worried about you. The world knowing we’re shagging is nothing compared to the world finding out that magic really does exist in the form of a Bafta award winning actor who does magic hugs”

“maybe people won’t believe it” said Mat hopefully

“well maybe....but given the detail in Larry’s tweets, they’ll either think Jim does magic hugs or that Larry is mentally unstable” said Ben

“well then if we can stop Larry talking to anyone for 24 hours, we may be ok. People will just assume he's mad and Jim can deny everything” said Mat

“Where is Larry exactly?” asked Jim

“We’ve confiscated his ipad and iphone and locked him in one of the dressing rooms.” said Mat “actually we should probably just make sure he’s ok”

Ben went cautiously over to the room where they had left Larry and banged on the door

“Larry? Larry? Are you ok in there?”

Silence

Ben knocked louder “Larry? LARRY?”

Nothing

Bugger! He didn’t entirely trust Larry not to jump him from behind the door but he needed to go in and check on him. Very quietly he unlocked the door and slowly pushed it open

“Larry? Oh shit”

The room definitely seemed to be empty and also very cold due to the open window, high up on the wall underneath which was a desk with a chair on top of it. Ben cursed Larry for being so slender – he’d clearly climbed out of the window.

However before he’d gone, seemingly frustrated by his lack of ipad and phone, he’d scribbled on the walls. Letters, words and phrases marched largely and boldly across the white paintwork in the unmistakable Larry scrawl. Ben read a few

“Went out to buy a milkshake and brought a guitar”

“Putting TWO fortune cookies in with my meal for one is the take away guys passive aggressive way of saying you order too much fat boy”

“If I were to return as a hero from the world’s most righteous war, my warmest welcome would still be from my co writer’s mum in law’s dog”

“It is unfortunate that blackberry named their product after a fruit that is, more often than not, a bit disappointing”

“Landlords eh? Strutting round like they own the place”

Despite himself, he couldn’t help but grin at the image of Larry scribbling furiously on the wall before realising that he was now out there, on the loose and convinced he was some kind of messianic leader.

This was not good.