Round 3 - Return of the Meme
Oct. 31st, 2011 01:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hhanonRound 3 - Return of the Meme
General Rules- Personal attacks and any kind of abusive trolling, hate speech, or bullying are obviously forbidden. Anon comments violating this rule will be deleted, signed in members will be banned.
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Prompting Rules
- One prompt per comment.
- Please follow the correct format (see below).
- Include trigger warnings in the subject line. Use your discretion and please be considerate.
- If your prompt is missing something, such as a subject or a warning, repost it in it’s entirety. It is not enough to reply to your own comment with the missing information. The mod will delete the previous duplicate comment.
- Multiple fills of the same prompt by different author!anons are allowed.
- If for any reason you start a fill but feel you can't finish the WIP you've created, and if you're happy to let someone finish it for you, put it up for HH Meme Fostering and Adoption.
- Prompts for projects other than Horrible Histories (ie. Spy, Gavin and Stacy, Rev, St. Trinian's, the O2 adverts etc., and RPF involving actors from those projects should be posted at the What? They've acted in other things?! post.
Format of Prompts
- Put [RPF] before RPF prompts.
- For crossover prompts: "[Crossover], HH Character(s)/Other Character(s), [Fandom]"
- Anyone, everyone, no one? Use "Other."
- Put [GEN] before GEN prompts, just so you don't get unwanted shipping.
- Use appropriate warnings. I'm trusting you all to know what that means.
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- To make the archiving job easier, please drop a link to your fill/unprompted fic here at the fills post.
- Nothing here you fancy filling? Take a look at the unfilled prompts archived here or at Round 1 or Round 2.
That's nearly the end of the storia, for onto the scene comes our much loved meme: HAIL TO THE QUEEN OF PROMPTIA.
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Unprompted Jim/Larry - Christmas Shopping - Part 2/5
Date: 2011-12-12 07:58 pm (UTC)Larry grinned and wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his chin on Jim’s shoulder.
“No you don’t. You love me all the time. Now come on elf, we’ve got shopping to do.”
He stepped back and slapped Jim’s arse before dashing out of the room and leaping down the stairs, landing with an oof at the bottom and an exclamation that he wasn’t as old as Harrison Ford so therefore big jumps shouldn’t hurt that much.
Jim rolled his eyes and reached out a hand to help Larry up once he’d got to the bottom of the stairs. “You’ll have to perfect your method.” He laughed a little as he glanced at Larry’s attire again. “You look so stupid.”
Larry gave him a slight glare.
“Stupid? I’m Indiana Larry! How can you say this is stupid? Leather jackets are always cool and stylish and this hat will always be awesome. I’m an action hero. Action heroes aren’t stupid.”
“You’re a wannabe!” He giggled, “C’mon” He pulled Larry along the hallway by his belt. “we’ve got to get Christmas in order.” As he walked the bell attached to his hat jingled and he pulled a face. “For god’s sake! I’m a literal bell-end, Laz.”
“You’re a cute little elf.” Larry replied and flicked the bell.
“And you’re still an idiot.” Jim pulled open the front door and swore under his breath as the icicle’s drip caught his face.
“My hat protects me from drips like that. It’s not so stupid now, is it?” Larry wanted to mention the fact that his hat wouldn’t protect him from people that were drips, but figured that would just be more ammunition Jim could use against his attire.
“Get in the car.” he ordered.
Larry muttered and did as he was told, sliding into the driver’s seat.
“Indiana Larry isn’t a passenger. You can be the passenger my helpful little elf.”
“You like ordering me about, don’t you?”
“Indiana Larry does what he wants and answers to no-one. You are my helpful minion.”
“I’ll bite your knees if you don’t shut up. Just start the car. Please.” Jim begged, clicking the seat-belt into place. “You can boss me around later.”
“Bite my knees?” Larry let out a loud laugh before starting the car. “That’s a new one. Why my knees? They don’t help me talk. It would make more sense if you bit my lip, because then I’d have to stop... imagine if my knees could talk though. What a sight that would be. I wonder what they’d say? ‘Ow, don’t jump on me!’ ‘Walk properly you moron.’ Oh! And they’d also-” He trailed off at Jim’s expression. “...what?”
Jim just laughed. He stared at Larry with a ‘you’re a moron’ look that also could have resembled a ‘why do I hang out with you?’. He gestured towards the clock, insinuating that they should get going pretty soon or they’d be gathering an audience around the car. A dog walker stopped to glance over, a confused expression on his face that turned to a laugh.
“Tossers.” Jim was sure he’d heard him mutter as he continued down the road.
“To the shops!” Larry exclaimed and urged the car forwards, humming Indy’s theme tune to himself as they tore down the road.
Unprompted Jim/Larry - Christmas Shopping - Part 3/5
Date: 2011-12-12 07:58 pm (UTC)“You look very festive.” Larry told him in an attempt to cheer him up, before flashing him a massive grin and tipping his hat.
“And you look like an extra from Brokeback Mountain, mate. But thanks all the same.”
“You’re only saying that because you want to take me roughly in a tent.” Larry replied as he chucked the keys over the car to him.
“Keep your fantasies to yourself,” Jim smirked, catching them. “we’re in public.”
Larry chuckled and twirled the whip in his hands.
“I suppose I can restrain myself. After all, you’re a little elf, not a sexy elf.”
“Oh. Sod off.” He laughed, “I’m not that little. Plus, I’d have worn heels had they matched the outfit.”
“...I may already have bought you heels. They’re back at my house with the Mrs Claus dress.”
“That’s funny, I’ve started growing the beard to match.” He elbowed Larry in the ribs as they entered the shopping centre.
“Well that’s a bit of a downer. Mrs Claus has a moustache, not a beard.”
“That’s not the only hairy part of her, I’ve heard.” Jim winked.
“Where first? La Senza?” He joked.
“Why, do you need more bras?” Larry asked with a mock innocent expression.
“Nah mate, I thought maybe you needed some new thongs.” Jim smirked. “Though my moobs could do with a little support...”
Larry nodded and grabbed him by the wrist, starting to pull him towards the lingerie shop.
“Come on then. Let’s see what they have!”
“No! I was joking.” Jim hissed, digging his heels into the floor. “Larry!”
“What? I could get you a basque! Do a little sexy dance in the changing rooms.”
“There are probably cameras in there, we’d have our own festive porno soon enough. Forget Christmas cards, imagine Mat or Ben’s delight when they click on the attachment of their e-card and see that!” He sniggered slightly, but soon managed to compose himself back into serious mode. “Nah, come on. Let’s focus.”
Larry pulled a face but let Jim lead him away from the shop, thinking to himself that starring in their own festive porno sounded like a fantastic idea but doing it in a shop really probably wouldn’t be. Maybe later.
“Right. Poundland? No, not classy enough... M&S fit the bill, Laz? Willbond will probably complain if we get him socks from Primark or something. Though personally I think those socks are fab... but that’s probably because I’m not a posh twat.”
“Colour runs when you put them in the wash though, wouldn’t want him getting his cricket whites ruined when a stray sock gets bundled in with them... although it would be amazing if he had to play cricket in light pink clothes.” Larry nodded and grinned to himself. “M&S it is!”
“I bet all the pensioners glare at us. After all an elf and Indiana Jo- sorry, Indiana Larry is rather a sight.” He commented, still hating what Larry had dressed him in.
“As I said, at least you’re not in a dress... and if I hadn’t found this outfit you could have been the back end of a reindeer. Now that would be something to stare at.”
Unprompted Jim/Larry - Christmas Shopping - Part 4/5
Date: 2011-12-12 07:59 pm (UTC)“For you or Ben? It’s not really your colour.”
“Me of course. It’s too common for Ben, what about in white?” He pulled one out from the rail and placed it up against him, seeing how it’d look in the mirror that was near by.
Larry stared at him incredulously.
“Another jumper? How many jumpers do you need?”
“What? They’re warm!”
“Jim, you’ll be a walking jumper soon.”
“Mat likes them.” He mumbled, putting it back on the rail.
“C’mon...” He sulked, wandering away from the jumpers.
“I like them too, but that doesn’t mean I need to fill my wardrobe with them. Do you actually own anything other than jumpers?”
“Nope. This is my only other outfit.” He said, gesturing at his costume. “Luckily it’s in season.”
He dived into the jeans section, picking up a ridiculously skinny pair with turn ups. “For Mat?”
Larry snorted.
“From M&S? No chance. Not hipster enough. We need to go to Topshop or a vintage store or something to get anything close to finding something for him. Besides, I don’t know his size.” He raised an eyebrow at Jim. “...and you do?”
“Minus 5, or something. He’s like cardboard.” He put the jeans back on the pile after a failed attempt at folding them up as neatly as they had been done before.
“Cardboard doesn’t have elbows that pokey or awkward.”
“Corrugated cardboard, then.”
Larry nodded, accepting that comparison despite muttering about cardboard not being that heavy when it fell on you or that smelly when it farted... not that cardboard could fart.
“Imagine if cardboard could fart.” He wondered out loud. “What do you think it would smell of?
“Paint.” He answered, glancing over at Larry with a questioning look. “Why?”
“I was trying to work out if Mat really was made of cardboard... if the fart smells of paint, wouldn’t the poo be paint? We could set up our own paint making business. Buy lots of cardboard cutouts of people, take them to houses that need decorating and... why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m wondering if they’d ever make a cardboard cutout of Mat. Or anyone one of us for that matter. We’re not that cool yet. And seven year olds don’t really ask for cardboard cutouts for Christmas. They’re more happy with games of Kerplunk and Gameboys and things.”
“There are cardboard cutouts of Indiana Jones. It can’t be long before people are demanding Indiana Larrys to stand in their houses. And there would definitely be a market for us. For Mat, at least. Just think of all those horny teenagers that would love to have him in their bedroom, a life-size hipster of their very own, looming over their bed while they wank. Of course, middle aged women would have Ben in their rooms.”
“M&S isn’t really working out for me anymore. If we’re looking for horny teenagers maybe we should try ‘hip’ places like New Look and Claire’s? I love Claire’s...” He said. The crowds of people they were pushing their way past were now staring, having clearly been listening to their conversation as their faces were now very puzzled.
“Not that I’m a horny teenager.” Jim added for good measure. “...If I was I’m sure I’d know by now that elf costumes don’t pull girls. Actually, I know that from experience.”
“They pull Larrys though.” Larry grinned at him, before elbowing him in the side. “That man thinks you’re looking for a horny teenager. I don’t think anyone would mistake you for one. You’re too old now. Horny old man.”
“The line is a speck of dust to you sometimes, I swear.” He shook his head, trying not to laugh as they headed towards a shop not full of pensioners and families.
“That’s what rewrites are for. And sadly, my mouth has no rewrites so I rely on you to stop me.”
Unprompted Jim/Larry - Christmas Shopping - Part 5/5
Date: 2011-12-12 07:59 pm (UTC)“IT’S YOU!” Larry exclaimed, pulling him to a halt outside the window and beaming at the poster.
“Shut up. Larry. People are staring. Let go! No- come on! Don’t do that!” Jim sighed.
“Untie me. Now. Don’t point. Please.”
Larry grinned at him mischievously and tugged on the whip.
“And you thought it was just for show. Oh Jim! So Naive.”
“Now they want autographs! I don’t even have a pe- Hello! Yeah, just feeling festive, y’know... getting into the Christmas spirit. Yes the costumes were Larry’s idea. There you go. No, thank you.”
Larry scooted round to the side and cornered an employee of the store.
“Do you have any of those legs? The furry ones? Like Jim wore in the advert? ...what do you mean ‘what advert’? Look at the poster! Look, he’s already wearing a jumper under that elf costume... oh, fine. Never mind.”
The crowds finally cleared and Jim huffed. “Never do that again.”
He frowned, noticing the disappointment on Larry’s face. “What did you just ask that guy?”
“If he had any faun legs.” Larry shrugged, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “I thought it would have made a fantastic photo opportunity. Not for the fans, well, for them too, but for me. I could have put it on twitter.”
“You’re an addict, now tweet about your disappointment whilst I get a cuppa and a muffin.” Jim said, heading off in the direction of Starbucks.
Larry huffed and leant against the wall, pulling his phone out of his gun holster and beginning to type.
O2 shops are useless. I bring them Jim and they don’t have faun legs. #missedopportunity
Re: Unprompted Jim/Larry - Christmas Shopping - Part 5/5
Date: 2011-12-12 08:23 pm (UTC)Wish there was more of their shopping trip and what happens afterwards.
<3 <3 <3 <3
Re: Unprompted Jim/Larry - Christmas Shopping - Part 5/5
Date: 2011-12-12 09:16 pm (UTC)Re: Unprompted Jim/Larry - Christmas Shopping - Part 5/5
Date: 2011-12-12 11:50 pm (UTC)