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Round 3 - Return of the Meme
Round 3 - Return of the Meme
General Rules- Personal attacks and any kind of abusive trolling, hate speech, or bullying are obviously forbidden. Anon comments violating this rule will be deleted, signed in members will be banned.
- If your comment is deleted/screened/frozen and you don't know why, please email the mod at hhanonmeme@gmail.com. (If you notice it happening to your comments and you know they're safe, a quick email for the mod to come and unscreen them would be helpful also).
- Prompt posts will close to new prompts at 3,000 comments.
Prompting Rules
- One prompt per comment.
- Please follow the correct format (see below).
- Include trigger warnings in the subject line. Use your discretion and please be considerate.
- If your prompt is missing something, such as a subject or a warning, repost it in it’s entirety. It is not enough to reply to your own comment with the missing information. The mod will delete the previous duplicate comment.
- Multiple fills of the same prompt by different author!anons are allowed.
- If for any reason you start a fill but feel you can't finish the WIP you've created, and if you're happy to let someone finish it for you, put it up for HH Meme Fostering and Adoption.
- Prompts for projects other than Horrible Histories (ie. Spy, Gavin and Stacy, Rev, St. Trinian's, the O2 adverts etc., and RPF involving actors from those projects should be posted at the What? They've acted in other things?! post.
Format of Prompts
- Put [RPF] before RPF prompts.
- For crossover prompts: "[Crossover], HH Character(s)/Other Character(s), [Fandom]"
- Anyone, everyone, no one? Use "Other."
- Put [GEN] before GEN prompts, just so you don't get unwanted shipping.
- Use appropriate warnings. I'm trusting you all to know what that means.
- Don't embed any photos, videos or other media.
- Copy and paste links in full; anon comments with active coded links are marked as spam and the mod doesn't switch accounts often enough - it may be a few days before those screened comments are de-screened (see: emailing the mod a heads up if it happens).
- To make the archiving job easier, please drop a link to your fill/unprompted fic here at the fills post.
- Nothing here you fancy filling? Take a look at the unfilled prompts archived here or at Round 1 or Round 2.
That's nearly the end of the storia, for onto the scene comes our much loved meme: HAIL TO THE QUEEN OF PROMPTIA.
Unprompted Fill 1/? Green eyed monster
(Anonymous) 2011-12-14 04:00 pm (UTC)(link)Ben tightened his arm around Mat grinning inanely “since last weekend”
“well you kept that quiet!, I didn’t even know you were seeing each other” said Jim
“oh we haven’t been” said Mat “we’ve just fancied each other rotten for months and then the flat flooded and I moved in with Ben while it was cleaned up, and well, there doesn’t seem a lot of sense in going home, especially as Ben’s house is much nicer than my flat” he giggled
“well I think its adorable” said Martha firmly “in fact I feel I should sort of go ‘squeeeeee’ and hug you both – in fact I think I will” she said being true to her word
“what’s going on?” said Larry wandering in “is it a hug fest? can I join in?” and he attached himself to Martha
“no it isn’t but you can have a hug anyway if you want”
“huh! My special Jimothy hugs aren’t enough for people anymore” mock huffed jim
“they are for me man” said Simon picking him up from behind and cuddling him
They all grinned at each other
“right that’s enough” said larry “anyone coming in would wonder when our tongues are going to start lolling out of our mouths and give us drugs to calm us down”
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Later that night, Ben and Mat went back to Mat’s flat to get the rest of Mat’s things. Like Mat himself, his possessions were well eclectic....
“1000 records? You have 1000 records but no record player? What’s the point in bringing them?”
“because I’m going to get a record player”
“just out of interest, how long have you been saying that?”
Mat muttered something unintelligible
Ben grinned “that long eh?”
Mat poked his tongue out “I will get one....at some point”
“Ok fine bring them then, what about this?” Ben picked up a box marked “Kitchen” – that was full of single shoes. Of course.
“why do you have a box full of single shoes?
“i picked them up at train stations?”
“erm why??”
“art project on loneliness when I was at college”
“right I see” said Ben not seeing at all
Mat went over to the wardrobe and began pulling things out, jumpers, scarves, hats (so many hats!), shirts, boots
“Mat what’s this??” at the back of the wardrobe was a greek warrior costume. “i thought you said you didn’t have it? Wardrobe went mental looking for this” said Ben “why have you got it?”
Mat blushed “no reason”
Ben held it up “hang on that’s not even your costume, it’s far too big” he sniffed it cautiously “that’s MY costume. Why is my Alexander costume in your wardrobe exactly?”
Mat snatched at it but Ben held it away “no seriously, why is it?”
Mat muttered something inaudible and looked at the floor
Ben looked up at him, light dawning “did you take it to remind you of me?”
Mat was by now firey red “it was just....that sketch...look I’m embarrassed enough ok”
Ben leant in putting on the ‘Alexander’ voice “maybe I’ll dress up in it later”
Mat grinned at him “maybe you should”
They packed everything away, even the weird things that Mat refused to be parted from, and piled it all in the car. Mat looked round the flat for one last time
“ready?” said Ben
“think so” said Mat
“no second thoughts?”
“Definitely not”
“come on let’s go then”
Unprompted Fill 2/? Green eyed monster
(Anonymous) 2011-12-14 04:03 pm (UTC)(link)Ben would pick things up with a sigh and say “please Mat, could you at least try to put things in the washing basket/in the kitchen/on the towel rail” and Mat would look contrite, and agree to try really hard, and then wander out leaving a trail of random debris behind him.
Mat found Ben’s clean freakery equally baffling. While it was lovely to live in a house where the towels were always clean and you never had to scrape 3 days worth of dinner off the plates before you wanted to use them, it would be nice occasionally to just not tidy up immediately after you’d done something. Honestly there were times he’d barely put his knife and fork down before Ben had whisked the plate into the dishwasher.
Sometimes just to tease Ben he would come to bed armed with chocolate sauce or whipped cream. Watching Ben being torn between “mmmmm food sex” and “but think of the sheets” was hilarious, especially as food sex always won in the end.
These were minor quibbles though. They spent most of their time in bed or curled up on the sofa, laughing, cuddling, and kissing which normally led back to the bedroom – or not, Mat being far keener to explore other places for sex.
If they did have to be separated for any reason, like work, they would sit there looking woebegone until the other returned. The others were torn between finding it incredibly sweet and wanting to throw up
“oh god no, it’s the ‘where’s Mat?’ woobie face” said Larry throwing himself down next to Ben, “relax mate, he’s only next door, no-one’s come and taken him in the night!”
Ben poked his tongue out “I was not doing a woobie face as you call it”
“you so were” Larry clapped his hand to his head and sighed dramatically “where’s Mat, I cannot cope if I can’t see him every minute of every day, I am soooo alone without him, I cannot breathe” and he collapsed dramatically across Ben’s lap
“get off me Rickard” said Ben heaving him up “I don’t know where you’ve been”
Martha came over “is it safe?” she asked “or is he pining again?”
“he’s pining” said Larry, “would you like a sickbag? I’ve got some spare ones”
“hahaha, you’re so funny you should do comedy for a living” deadpanned Ben
The studio light flashed from red back to green, and Mat came out with Jim
Larry ran over to him “Mat thank god you’re back! Ben was just about to die from loneliness without you”
Ben rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the rather dopey smile on his face as Mat came over and brushed a kiss across his lips
“i’ll just de Egyptian and then we can go”
Yes, life was good, so very good, except for one thing.....Ben’s jealousy
Unprompted Fill 3/? Green eyed monster PG13
(Anonymous) 2011-12-14 04:10 pm (UTC)(link)“Yes you WERE, I SAW you.”
“Ben, I wasn’t, we were just talking” Mat sighed, he hated it when Ben got like this, all jealous and insecure. He really hadn’t been flirting, he’d just been having a really nice indepth conversation with this bloke, Charlie something, about music and obscure bands that only the two of them had heard of, when Ben materialised at his shoulder glowering at Charlie and insisting it was time to go.
“he fancied you” said Ben insistently, the speed of the car increasing as his foot crept flatter to the floor, adrenaline surging through him
“Ben” Mat put his hand on his thigh “this may be news to you but not everyone finds me as irresistible as you do” he glanced at the speedometer “and maybe you should slow down”
Ben took a deep breath and eased his foot back, he knew he was being absurd and that he had no reason to be jealous. It was just after all the months and months of wanting, he’d finally, FINALLY, got together with Mat and he still couldn’t quite believe it
He attempted a smile “everyone else are fools then”
Mat smiled back, a wide deep grin that made Ben’s heart do flippy things “guess that means you’re stuck with me until everyone else recognises my irresistible sexual allure and demands my body”
Ben frowned again and Mat sighed, sometimes Ben was impossible.
When they got home, as he knew he would, Ben made violently possessive love to him, his hands gripping him so tight he left finger marks, his mouth hot and insistent before falling asleep his arms wrapped firmly around Mat.
Mat couldn’t sleep, he was hot where Ben was curled so tightly round him and he also couldn’t ignore the little voice in his head “it’s unhealthy” it whispered to him “he’s too possessive”.
Mat shook his head arguing with himself “he isn’t, he just loves me a lot”; “he loves you too much, he’s too needy” the voice hissed softly; “he doesn’t, it’s early days, he just needs a lot of reassurance. I’ve never been so happy and in love” and finally silencing the voice Mat went to sleep.
He was woken in the morning by being kissed awake by Ben
“sorry” said Ben softly as Mat blinked and yawned, “ I couldn’t wait anymore” and he rolled on top of him, wrapping his hand round both of them, stroking and caressing until Mat was a whimpering mess thrusting up and clutching his shoulders.
When they were finished, Ben rolled onto his back, pulling Mat in for a cuddle stroking his hair.
“I’m sorry I was such an arse yesterday” said Ben “I know you weren’t flirting, it’s just....” he stopped
“it’s just what?? Remember what we discussed about me not being telepathic?” smiled Mat trying to lighten the mood
“it’s just, I couldn’t bear it if you left me”
Mat sighed and banged his head against Ben’s chest in exasperation “I’m not going to leave you though if you keep wibbling on like this, I might kill you”
“sorry” said Ben – again
“and stop apologising all the time”
“Sor..oh”
Mat sat up and looked Ben in the eye. “Ben I love you, I don’t want to be with anyone else or be anywhere else, but here with you so can you please just stop it? please? because you are doing my head in with all this you really are!”
Ben looked down and then raised his head and looked at Mat
“ok”
“finally!” Mat gave an ironic cheer
“got a smile for me?”
Ben smiled at him
“and a kiss?”
Ben kissed him
“and £20,000 for me being the best boyfriend in the world?”
“don’t push it”
See, nothing to worry about said Mat to himself, nothing at all.
Re: Unprompted Fill 3/? Green eyed monster PG13
(Anonymous) 2011-12-15 12:03 am (UTC)(link)Re: Unprompted Fill 3/? Green eyed monster PG13
(Anonymous) 2011-12-15 01:54 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Unprompted Fill 3/? Green eyed monster PG13
(Anonymous) 2011-12-19 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-21 12:39 pm (UTC)(link)“oh god not spin the bottle Laz” groaned Jim
“come on you know you want to”
“no we really don’t”
“come ooonnnn”
Jim rolled his eyes
“pleeeeeease”
“alright, alright, just don’t be surprised if it degenerates into a big row like last time”.
“but I like the rows” said larry “they’re hilarious”. Last time Mat had got really huffy with Simon when he’d suggested that doing a show on Sky was selling out to the Murdoch empire. He had been doing it on purpose of course to wind Mat up, knowing how Mat felt about the whole News International conglomerate. Ben of course had waded in on Mat’s side and then Martha had had a go at Ben for picking on Simon. It had ended with everyone shouting at pretty much everyone else while larry sat there in hysterics.
“don’t worry, I’ll choose a non controversial topic this time”
“yeh right” Larry was never knowingly uncontroversial
“right so spin the bottle..no shh shhh it’ll be fun...ok, the topic this time is love”
“love” said Simon
“yep love in honour of our newly loved up friends over there” he nodded at Mat and Ben who were over on the sofa, snogging - again.
“oi” larry threw a cushion at them “put each other down and come and play”
“alright, a;lright we’re coming” said Mat grinning
“ok right” Larry spun the bottle. It landed pointing at Jim
“Jim! Ok if you had to snog a fellow cast member, who would it be?”
“what???” Jim choked, “I’m not bloody answering that”
“you have too otherwise it’s a forfeit – don’t make us, make you do, the truffle shuffle!”
“you wouldn’t!” said Jim
“oh he would” said Simon
“bastard!! Oh er um er Katy”
“oooooooh” the others all giggled
“shut up” said Jim “are we all 14 or something?”
“temper, temper” said Larry and he spun the bottle again, and rather poetically it landed
pointing at him
“ha!” said Jim “I’m asking this one. If you ahd to snog a fellow cast member of the same sex who would it be?”
Larry grinned “oh that’s easy” he said “Mat”
Mat went very red and Ben’s face went very tight
“why Mat?” asked Jim
“oh he’s nearly as pretty as a girl” said Larry “no offence to the rest of you but you’re all a bit to blokey, so you know if I had too at gunpoint, there’s no contest”
“I’m worried about how much you seem to ahve thought about this Laz” said Martha
“well it’s the insomnia, I think about all kinds of things at 4.30 in the morning.Ok lets go again” he span the bottle and this time it landed pointing at Ben
“Ben” smirked Larry “ok Ben, first time you had sex”
“oooooooh” giggled everyone else “Ben losing his virginity”
“with a man or a woman?” Ben deadpanned back
“arghhhhh noooooo, Ben! you tart you! we thought you were gay” choroused everyone
“well I am now” he grinned “but it doesn’t mean I haven’t you know tried out the otherside”
“both, we want to know both!” said Martha laughing
“ok, with a girl when I was 16 at a Christmas party at my parents house. On top of the coats, a bit clumsy and hurried with coat buttons digging in my back”
“hahaha you went underneath” laughed Mat “that’s a rarity”
“well she was 21” said ben, familiar half smirk creeping across his face “and she seemed to be more familiar with the mechanics than me”
“21!!!! Benjamin! we’re shocked”
Ben laughed and took a sip of his drink “you’re so not you know”
“alright, alright, first time with a bloke”
A slightly shamefaced look fluttered across ben’s face “university”
“and...and...” the others leaned forward
“and...nothing...we had sex, we were drunk and we had sex”
he paused
“on the cricket square”
“noooooo” the others howled “you didn’t!”
“we did, and it was bloody uncomfortable”
“well well” said Larry “it’s all coming out now!” and he spun and landed pointing to Mat
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-21 12:43 pm (UTC)(link)“oh ho Mathew!” grinned Larry “right first time you were in love”
“argh god” said Mat “do I have to?”
“YES” shouted the others, except Ben whose face was wearing a guarded closed down expression
“alright I was 18 and he was 30”
“30! You toy boy you” laughed Martha
“he was a teacher at drama school and well he er realised i was gay before I did”
“ooooh”
“and yeh well he offered me a lot of one to one tuition”
“hahah the old ‘special tuition' eh? “ laughed Simon
“and one afternoon he kissed me and well that was it”
“was he the first person you slept with?” asked Jim
“yes” said Mat softly “he was much more experienced and well, yeh, it was lovely”
Ben jumped abruptly to his feet
“I think it’s time we were going” he said to Mat
“oh Ben, but we’re having so much fun”
“we’ve got to be up early in the morning” said Ben “come on”
Mat sighed, Ben was right they did have to be up early but somehow he didn’t think this was about needing to be up early..
When they got outside, Ben cupped Mat’s face and pulled him in for a very very long involved kiss.
“I love you you know” he said winding his arms around Mat
“i know you do” said Mat “but”
Ben stiffened in his arms “but?”
Mat leaned back so he could look him full in the face “we don’t have to be up that early, why did you make me leave?”
Ben wouldn’t meet his eyes “we do have to be up early”
“Ben" said Mat firmly “i’m not an idiot! It was because of the game wasn’t it?”
“n nooo”
“liar” Mat smiled at him sadly “you’re a hopeless liar”
“i didn’t want to hear it ok?” burst out Ben “i didn’t want to hear about how lovely some other man was and how he was the first, I wanted to be the first ok? I wanted to be the first person you loved! I just..the thought of you with other people, I can’t stand it”
“oh Ben” Mat sighed “ I was 28 when we met, you were never going to be the first were you?”
Ben muttered something unintelligible
“WERE YOU?” said Mat more firmly
“no but....I don’t want you to talk about it. I don’t want to know about the others”
“but..”
“promise me, please Mat, promise me” ben sounded close to tears
“alright Ben I promise” said Mat. I mean he thought, it’s not as if I do need to talk about them after all they are all in the past
Ben smiled and kissed his nose “ok” he said “let’s go home”
Re:FILL 5/? GREEN EYED MONSTER
(Anonymous) 2011-12-21 07:36 pm (UTC)(link)FILL 5/? GREEN EYED MONSTER
(Anonymous) 2011-12-21 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)Which is a compliment, it just means you're doing a great job of writing.
“Shut up” said Jim “are we all 14 or something?”
Apparently, yes - as we're playing Spin the Bottle. :D
“And...nothing...we had sex, we were drunk and we had sex” he paused “on the cricket square.”
Just to check. Is this still the 'verse where it was Alexander and Ben was just lying about it there? Or is it a different one?